Saturday, October 10, 2009
Oh My!
What a crazy few weeks we have had here! Miss Lyric has made her grand enterance, Cadance has made her own "art supplies", Philip has been off work and I have been recovering. Oh boy do we have a few posts to share soon. :)
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Mantra
"Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Monday, September 7, 2009
Eleven ways to encourage confidence in your child
1. It’s vital you avoid labelling your child as shy or nervous, either directly to your child or when talking about her to others. Labels stick and rapidly lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You may have banished all labels, but what happens if you keep coming up against “isn’t she shy” declarations from teachers, friends or family - said with conviction in front of your little one?
Ensure your child is left with a positive view of themselves by calmly and confidently bouncing by the generalisation with a subtle reframing: “Katie likes to think things through before rushing in” or “Danny likes to listen to others before sharing his views”.
2. If your child is upset or fearful, accept feelings with warmth and concern: “it sounds as if you’re feeling nervous, that’s understandable”.
Tempting though it may be, avoid dismissing or ‘taking away’ feelings eg “don’t be silly, big boys don’t get shy”. These kinds of comments lead children to feel that their inner states are not valid. This can be confusing and lead to anxiety.
Children whose feelings are accepted and supported by their parents tend to be much more ‘emotionally literate’, confident and secure.
3. Normalise doubts by talking about a generic other: “everyone feels unsure from time to time” or by referring to situations you find daunting and how you attempt to overcome them: “sometimes I feel worried about speaking up at work, but I always make and effort and feel good afterwards”. Use story books to introduce themes of facing fears or overcoming challenges.
4. Children learn social skills from watching others so model the kind of interactions you want to encourage: be warm and friendly with people you don’t know, introduce yourself to new people, ask people for help, give compliments to friends and thank others for their time.
5. Think about the specific situations that make your little one run for cover and identify skills that may help equip them for better managing these daunting scenarios. Use role play to help them rehearse these skills. For example if your child shrinks into the corner at birthday parties set up a party scene and use favourite toys or teddies to act out different interactions: giving the party girl their present; saying hello to other children; asking the adult where the toilet is; saying thank you on leaving.
6. Once you’ve practiced through play, gently encourage new activities by providing manageable opportunities for success. Take a gradual, step-by-step approach. For example, if you’re child is nervous about starting Brownies, take her along to watch the group for the first week, then suggest she joins in at the end for ten minutes the next week whilst you stay in the room. Then build up to leaving the room for brief periods. Before long, she will be bouncing into the group and happily taking part in the full session.
7. It’s crucial you hide any doubts or anxieties you may have about your little’s one’s ability to cope. Combine empathy for her feelings (see point 2) with confident assertions that you have faith in her: “Ahh, I can see you’re feeling a bit worried, but I’m really confident you’ll be able to handle it”.
8. It’s tempting when faced with a wary, cautious little person to step in to do things for them, however this can be counterproductive. When your child is approaching new situations or learning new things, try to step back from interfering too much as this may make him hesitant and reliant on others. Let your child learn through exploration and trial & error; this will help him to develop a sense of personal mastery and confidence.
9. Help boost your little one’s self-esteem by using descriptive praise to clearly identify specific behaviours that you value: “you said hello even though you felt nervous, that was really brave”. This will help your child to develop an inner sense of achievement and pride.
10. Show physical affection and regularly and repeatedly tell your child how much she is loved. Warm, playful and affectionate interactions with your child will fill them with a sense of being valued and accepted; crucial for developing the inner self-confidence required for approaching and interacting with others.
11. If your child is chronically sad and withdrawn, is unable to face any social situations, has suddenly changed from being outgoing to quiet and anxious, or if they show absolutely no interest in interacting with others, it would be worth considering getting professional support. Make an appointment with your GP to discuss options.
You may have banished all labels, but what happens if you keep coming up against “isn’t she shy” declarations from teachers, friends or family - said with conviction in front of your little one?
Ensure your child is left with a positive view of themselves by calmly and confidently bouncing by the generalisation with a subtle reframing: “Katie likes to think things through before rushing in” or “Danny likes to listen to others before sharing his views”.
2. If your child is upset or fearful, accept feelings with warmth and concern: “it sounds as if you’re feeling nervous, that’s understandable”.
Tempting though it may be, avoid dismissing or ‘taking away’ feelings eg “don’t be silly, big boys don’t get shy”. These kinds of comments lead children to feel that their inner states are not valid. This can be confusing and lead to anxiety.
Children whose feelings are accepted and supported by their parents tend to be much more ‘emotionally literate’, confident and secure.
3. Normalise doubts by talking about a generic other: “everyone feels unsure from time to time” or by referring to situations you find daunting and how you attempt to overcome them: “sometimes I feel worried about speaking up at work, but I always make and effort and feel good afterwards”. Use story books to introduce themes of facing fears or overcoming challenges.
4. Children learn social skills from watching others so model the kind of interactions you want to encourage: be warm and friendly with people you don’t know, introduce yourself to new people, ask people for help, give compliments to friends and thank others for their time.
5. Think about the specific situations that make your little one run for cover and identify skills that may help equip them for better managing these daunting scenarios. Use role play to help them rehearse these skills. For example if your child shrinks into the corner at birthday parties set up a party scene and use favourite toys or teddies to act out different interactions: giving the party girl their present; saying hello to other children; asking the adult where the toilet is; saying thank you on leaving.
6. Once you’ve practiced through play, gently encourage new activities by providing manageable opportunities for success. Take a gradual, step-by-step approach. For example, if you’re child is nervous about starting Brownies, take her along to watch the group for the first week, then suggest she joins in at the end for ten minutes the next week whilst you stay in the room. Then build up to leaving the room for brief periods. Before long, she will be bouncing into the group and happily taking part in the full session.
7. It’s crucial you hide any doubts or anxieties you may have about your little’s one’s ability to cope. Combine empathy for her feelings (see point 2) with confident assertions that you have faith in her: “Ahh, I can see you’re feeling a bit worried, but I’m really confident you’ll be able to handle it”.
8. It’s tempting when faced with a wary, cautious little person to step in to do things for them, however this can be counterproductive. When your child is approaching new situations or learning new things, try to step back from interfering too much as this may make him hesitant and reliant on others. Let your child learn through exploration and trial & error; this will help him to develop a sense of personal mastery and confidence.
9. Help boost your little one’s self-esteem by using descriptive praise to clearly identify specific behaviours that you value: “you said hello even though you felt nervous, that was really brave”. This will help your child to develop an inner sense of achievement and pride.
10. Show physical affection and regularly and repeatedly tell your child how much she is loved. Warm, playful and affectionate interactions with your child will fill them with a sense of being valued and accepted; crucial for developing the inner self-confidence required for approaching and interacting with others.
11. If your child is chronically sad and withdrawn, is unable to face any social situations, has suddenly changed from being outgoing to quiet and anxious, or if they show absolutely no interest in interacting with others, it would be worth considering getting professional support. Make an appointment with your GP to discuss options.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Potty Training, Big Girl Rooms and Mama's Dining Room... Oh My!
Now that Cadance is officially a big girl I decided it was time for her to have her big girl room together. She actually helped me move her toys upstairs (which was pretty nice). We rearranged her room and opened the windows back up and now her toys are in her room as well. She wasn't sleeping right away at nap time or bed time anyway so why not?! She seemed very proud about having her "big girl" room all together.
Not only was this a treat for Cadance but mama got a bonus as well. I now have my dining room back. Who knew the house not looking like a preschool would make me so happy! lol Maybe I can find some sort of zen around here now! :P I'm thinking this fall it would be nice to get some bunco or poker going now that I have a place to do it (and will soon be able to have a few drinks!). Always thinking ahead I guess but that makes me..ME! :)
I also have the girls bathroom all ready to go as well. When Cadance was a baby it was a pain to move everything each time I wanted to take a shower so with 2 little ones I can only imagine. I hooked them up with a duck bathroom and I can just keep all their stuff in one place. Of course mama will still be using it as well (we are officially a 2 bathroom family now). But it will be nice to have everything in one place instead of coming downstairs to get stuff I forgot!
So until then..cheers to having my dining room back...uh...I mean Cadance having her big girl room!
Not only was this a treat for Cadance but mama got a bonus as well. I now have my dining room back. Who knew the house not looking like a preschool would make me so happy! lol Maybe I can find some sort of zen around here now! :P I'm thinking this fall it would be nice to get some bunco or poker going now that I have a place to do it (and will soon be able to have a few drinks!). Always thinking ahead I guess but that makes me..ME! :)
I also have the girls bathroom all ready to go as well. When Cadance was a baby it was a pain to move everything each time I wanted to take a shower so with 2 little ones I can only imagine. I hooked them up with a duck bathroom and I can just keep all their stuff in one place. Of course mama will still be using it as well (we are officially a 2 bathroom family now). But it will be nice to have everything in one place instead of coming downstairs to get stuff I forgot!
So until then..cheers to having my dining room back...uh...I mean Cadance having her big girl room!
Potty Pro
Day 3:
Well, pro may be a bit strong but...pretty darn close! Day 3 went even better than day 2. I took Cadance out of the house for the first time and she had no accidents. We were gone for about an hour and then came home and when we got back she ran (literally ran) inside and went on the potty (sweet relief! lol). I can't say much other than Cadance is a super star! :) She is really getting this potty thing down!
Well, pro may be a bit strong but...pretty darn close! Day 3 went even better than day 2. I took Cadance out of the house for the first time and she had no accidents. We were gone for about an hour and then came home and when we got back she ran (literally ran) inside and went on the potty (sweet relief! lol). I can't say much other than Cadance is a super star! :) She is really getting this potty thing down!
PS we were NOT happy about this picture being taken but I guess I wouldn't be either! I'll be showing this to her friends when she is 16! lol
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
I'm mostly an A student! (Friggin' Poli Sci was a B!)
I have been so wrapped up in potty training madness I forgot to brag on myself a little bit. I decided rather than take my Intro to Meteorology finals while delivering Lyric I would take them early. I got a 96% (friggin' math gets me every time!) and I got an A in the class. Woo hoo! I think I may have made the Dean's List for this quarter but I won't know until January 1, 2010!! That's a long time to wait and to be honest I'll probably be hung over at that time but oh well, I can't wait to find out! :)
Good Job Pee Pee Monster!
Day 2:
There is NO WAY that Cadance could be this good at potty training already! Ok...well, she is MY child and all :) Lord knows by month 8 of this pregnancy I am the queen of peeing myself! Today went GREAT! Cadance went about 5 or 6 times all by herself and even remembered to pull down her underoos! About 4 or 5 times I asked her if she had to go and she said yes and then went and sat down and went potty. I think 1 time I had to tell her to go to the potty because I could tell she had to go and she was to excited about her T.V. show being on to bother with it. We had NO accidents all day today and she only wet one pair of underoos (she stopped herself and finished on the potty but the underoos were still wet). So all in all, she did GREAt today! I really can't believe how different this time is from last time we tried. And to make all things even better...Cadance is actually enjoying it this time around. I am so glad that I did child led potty training instead of trying to force her into it. I couldn't ask for a better 2 year old pee pee monster! :)
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
bw.jpg)
.JPG)